Category Archives: Acceptance

I’m a Reluctant Runner

I’m a Reluctant Runner

I grew up thin… I think skinny was the term used most frequently when I was a child.  Like most women, and many men, I focussed on my perceived body-image when I was young and seemed to be frequently apologizing for my size.  Social judgement creates lots of assumptions and myths.  One assumption is that thin must equal fit.  I was, relatively, when I was young.  I was lucky, for a long time.  Then age began to hit me.

Now this is not a rant about growing older: I actually love aging.  I love the personal power I am growing into as I age.  I love the letting go of crap stuff that no longer serves me (that actually never served me, like worrying so much about what I looked like, or how I could make sure everyone liked me), I even love the wrinkles (although I’m struggling a bit with how gravity is being a bit too bossy for my liking).  What I don’t like is how my bones are not healthy.  A bone scan, whilst still in my 40s, showed Osteopenia – bone loss that can lead to Osteoporosis.  This was my wake up call.  That growing into my power piece… well now, I had to act on it.

I had to work on getting fit.  I was suddenly feeling old before my time.  I had seen too many relatives and friends struggling with pain in older age linked to decline in bone density.

The rest of my family are active.  I would choose the sofa over a run any day.  Now, there is still a vocal part of me that would choose the sofa over a run any day… but she doesn’t run the show any more (‘run’ the show… I’m a natural wit!). IMG_5144

I have learnt to…um, let’s say… appreciate running.  I appreciate how it helps me come back to my body… to escape my mind for a little while, and ground myself.  I appreciate the sense of accomplishment it gives me when I have finished.  I appreciate the feeling in my muscles when I have pushed myself a little bit more. I love the feeling as my body gets stronger, and the confidence this gives me. I appreciate the people I have met through running, who are an incredibly supportive tribe… many of who run marathons, but are still so helpful and knowledgeable, and welcoming as I struggled with first a 5km, then a 10km, a half-marathon, and my new goal – a marathon.  I appreciate how running has helped me create a different story about myself.  I am no longer the lazy one, no longer the inactive one.  I have pushed myself out of my comfort zone and my image of myself has changed incredibly.

I am finally beginning to call myself a Runner.  It feels good.  I like this new story I am writing.

What have you done that helps you recognize you are more than your original story?

 

 

Feeling Blah

Feeling Blah

It’s summer in the city, the sun is out the sky is blue, I have just returned from the rest and relaxation of a family vacation, and I tell myself I should be rested, energized and grounded.  But I’m not.  I’m feeling blah. As I tend to live in my head, my reaction is to…Continue Reading

Life Happens: Reaction v. Response

Life Happens: Reaction v. Response

Over the last three days I have been re-building my website, having somehow “lost” it.  If this had happened a month ago, whilst I was moving home, moving province, and transitioning my business, I am not sure how I would have reacted.  With the rest I have had over the past three weeks, and with…Continue Reading

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